The Phillies’ Stinker of a Season is Almost Over
by Tommy Gimler When Jimmy Rollins and his .248 batting average sit atop your statistical leader board, odds are you’re having a miserable season. That’s also what happens when every other player with...
View ArticleWhy Cincinnati, Oakland, and Baltimore Fans Don’t Deserve A Title
by Tommy Gimler During Game 4 of the Tigers-Athletics ALDS Series Wednesday night, TBS/TNT announcer Buck Martinez mentioned how amazing the Oakland Athletics fans were at supporting their team. Bull...
View Article2013 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out
by Tommy Gimler The Atlantis Casino in Reno might be as irrelevant as Mindy McCready’s life 364 days of the year, but for the last seven years, they have been the first sportsbook to release Major...
View ArticleProbably The Greatest Headline Ever: Phillies Giancarlo Stanton Mike Stanton...
by Tommy Gimler David Murphy of the Philadelphia Daily News is my hero. Well, since Justin Verlander is currently plowing Kate Upton, then I guess he is technically my hero. But after entitling his...
View ArticleDUD MLB Preview: Philadelphia Phillies
by Tommy Gimler I’m flying nonstop from Miami to LA on American Airlines, a five-and-a-half hour trip, and the fucking airship doesn’t have an internet connection. How in the shit does an airline in...
View ArticlePlaying With Your Dinghy At The Ballpark, That Senile Old Fuck Tim McCarver...
by Tommy Gimler It’s the middle of the week, and our mailbag is becoming more bloated than Melissa McCarthy. Let’s see what’s on the minds of our readers because it sure as hell isn’t their careers…...
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Get The Shit Out Of Your Ears: Our First DUDcast
by Tommy Gimler and Michael Louis What do you get when you lock five sports fans and a comedian in a condo loaded with two bottles of Glenfiddich, eighteen Bud Lights, and a high-speed internet...
View ArticleBaseball’s Biggest Busts
by Tommy Gimler Sure, it’s still early in the 2013 MLB season. But just like it’s never too early in the relationship to tell your girlfriend to lose two, three, or thirty pounds, it’s not too early...
View ArticleSaturday Night Stat Dork
by Tommy Gimler 14 MLB teams currently sport a record under .500 in this young 2013 season. And nobody celebrates futility like us. Well, nobody celebrates deplorable futility quite like Taylor Swift,...
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Aroldis Chapman Devoured 18 Cuban Pastries Before Blowing The Game On Sunday
by Tommy Gimler What’s crazier than the Spanish voice of the Philadelphia Phillies being named Rickie Ricardo? How about the fact that Ricardo might have been responsible for the first ever...
View ArticleThe DUD MLB Midseason Report: NL East
by Tommy Gimler If you had Colorado’s Michael Cuddyer owning the season’s longest hitting streak at 27 games, you’re a fucking liar. Likewise, nobody pegged the Pittsburgh Pirates to own baseball’s...
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Thanks For The Memories, Chawlie…
by Vinny The Book As a diehard Philly sports fan, the firing of Charlie Manuel is one of the hardest things to stomach – even more so than realizing a girl you are dating thinks Mark Sanchez is...
View ArticleHere’s How Our MLB Predictions Stood Up Against The “Experts”
by Tommy Gimler Let’s be honest. If you put your entire unborn child’s community college fund behind our MLB over/under predictions this year, you’re a fucking idiot. Now is as good of a time as any...
View Article2014 MLB Over/Under Win Totals Are Out, You Hookers
by Tommy Gimler The thugs in Vegas have released the 2014 over/under win totals for all 30 Major League Baseball teams, and let’s just say there are a few more surprises than getting into a car with...
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Somebody Sent Cliff Lee Some Fingernail Clippings In The Mail
by Tommy Gimler People send weird shit to athletes and celebrities all the time. Sometimes it’s topless Polaroids. Sometimes panties laced with anthrax. But Philadelphia Phillies starting pitcher...
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DUD MLB Preview: 2014 NL East Projected Standings
by Tommy Gimler Everything is falling into place for the New York Mets to be major players…in 2021. 1. Washington Nationals The Nationals took a tits starting rotation and made it even more impressive...
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The Funniest First Half Breakdown For All 30 MLB Teams
by Tommy Gimler Brewers and Athletics fans probably have permaboners, as their respective teams have been hotter than Kate Upton and Imogen Thomas bumping hump holes. Meanwhile, if the old fucks in...
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Cliff Lee Farted At The End Of His Interview Last Night
by Tommy Gimler Baseball players and managers farting during postgame interviews is becoming almost as common as an East Coast frat house rape. The latest to join the trend was Philadelphia’s Cliff...
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Ruben Amaro’s Fake Gmail Account Is Shit Your Pants Awesome
by Tommy Gimler When Jayson Werth leaves a message entitled “$126 MILLION AND IN FIRST PLACE – BLOW ME,” you’ve got our attention. The fellas over at Crossing Broad have really outdone themselves this...
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2015 NL East Preview
by Matty Ballgame Damn. It’s looks as though Bryce Harper lifted a weight or two in the offseason. Let’s be honest: Trying to accurately predict how many games a team is going to win over a 162-game...
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