by Tommy Gimler
The fuck?
It was a big moment for the game’s greatest closer of all time yesterday, as Mariano Rivera became the first player ever to be unanimously voted into the MLB Hall of Fame. Rivera, who appeared on all 425 ballots, will be joined in Cooperstown by Roy Halladay, Mike Mussina and Edgar Martinez, all of whom cleared the 75 percent of the vote necessary to get in.
While he is definitely deserving of the unanimous vote, it’s beyond crazy that it has taken this long for a player to be bestowed with the honor. I mean, think about it. Cobb. Ruth. Honus Wagner. Nap Fucking Lajoie. None of them received 100 percent of the vote, and all of them are the list of of corpses who can plow my sister.
So just why did it take this long to happen? Well, not one but two dipshits voting for a guy like Placido Polanco instead of using their votes on a guy who actually deserved them sure doesn’t help the cause. Take this ass clown Bill Madden from the New York Daily News, for example. Why did Madden burn one of his votes on Polanco, a career .297 hitter who finished with 104 home runs and 81 stolen bases while reaching 200 hits in a season only once and only once scoring more than 100 runs in a season? You guessed it – superb defense.
No, seriously. Here are Madden’s own words:
Polanco is the only player in history to hold the lifetime fielding percentage records at two different positions – second base (.993) and third base (.983). He also holds the lifetime records for most consecutive error-less games at second (186) and most consecutive chances (911) without an error. In addition, Polanco is one of only two players in history to win Gold Glove awards at multiple positions and the only one to have won them both in the infield.
Look, those are impressive fielding percentages, but when it comes to enshrining somebody in Cooperstown over Gold Gloves, eat a dick. Gold Gloves are such a sham that Rafael Palmeiro once won one for his “outstanding” play at first base. The problem with that? Palmeiro only started…wait for it…28 games at first base in 1999 while the rest of his time was spent at DH. So when you remove Gold Gloves from the equation, Madden is voting Polanco in because of one stat and one stat only: fielding percentage.
Based on that thought process, we can only assume that Madden is the Stephen A. Smith of the New York Daily News, meaning he’s nothing short of a giant turd…
Wait, there’s more: Bob Menery’s Take On The Blown PI Call In The Saints-Rams Game Is Pretty Spot On
You have got to see this shit: