by Frank Rhombus
If you haven’t heard by now that Bryce Harper will make $330 million over the next 13 years in Philadelphia, you’re probably deaf.
The Phillies made the largest contract in major North American sports history official at their spring training facility in Clearwater, Florida Saturday afternoon, and Harper wasted no time getting to the fact that he wants to bring a championship back to…wait for it…Washington, D.C.
“We want to bring a title back to DC” Oh no Bryce pic.twitter.com/x219uYPEKY
— Starting 9 (@Starting9) March 2, 2019
Oh shit.
Even though it’s the weekend, Twitter didn’t take the day off and roasted Harper like a motherfucker. Here are some of their better efforts:
— Martin (@insanemembWayne) March 2, 2019
— Sports Homer (@TheSportsHomer) March 2, 2019
— Sancho Panza (@breadfan33) March 2, 2019
@genius18 @Biznestime @28Frazier pic.twitter.com/ow5Xy9ZcRj
— Uncle D (@dluzion23) March 2, 2019
— Greg Blas (@gman42995) March 2, 2019
— HotTakes&CheeseSteaks (@HTCSBLOG) March 2, 2019
Me too, Bruce. Me too.
— People’s Eyebrow (@PeopIesEyebrow) March 2, 2019
And thus began the Harper Curse™
— ChiSox Homer (@RightSox) March 2, 2019
@MikeSweennn riiiiiiiight pic.twitter.com/JhioYRmDia
— Craig (@CrAmidoneous) March 2, 2019
— Terence “Lee” Keaser (@TheDJTerence) March 2, 2019
— Brian Cullember (@BrianCullember) March 2, 2019
Wait, there’s more: Degenerate Of The Year Fakes His Own Abduction To Avoid Paying Out $50K Super Bowl Pool He Ran
You have got to see this shit: